Today was rough.
I really did not want to come in to work this morning. My son is sick and I had a little bit of that as well, but it is more than that. I am feeling tired and burnt out. I just didn’t have the energy to make my classes do what they needed to do. My lesson plan was pretty awful and did not go well in any of the blocks. I’m feeling a little bit like I did during my student teaching assignment where I was just existing the final few weeks. It’s not that bad but there are hints of it. I really hope it turns around because it makes the day difficult to get through.
The only positive was that while we were doing a class activity comparing the slopes of two lines. I was proud of all of my blocks for parts of this activity because I had neglected to label the two lines on the graph. Every single class wanted to call them something so that it was easier to talk about them and compare the slopes. Block 1 called them y1 and y2 which I was proud of them for but I loved what the middle block did. I asked them what they wanted to call the lines and I got “Albert and Deanna” which I thought was hilarious. So we calculated and compared the slopes of Albert and Deanna. In my final block, I got suggestions of y1 and y2 again but I then I asked if they wanted silly names like the middle block and I got Scooby and Shaggy, which was also fantastic. That activity was the one bright spot in the day where I wasn’t even treading water, my head went under a couple times.
I’m worried that if this cold gets any worse and I have to take a sick day I’ll not want to come back to work until after Christmas. I’m not sure what to do in order to turn my outlook around but I feel beat down. I’m really grateful that I am teaching blocks because I will get a fresh start with setting tone and classroom management in January. I really like the students that I have and I will see many of them again next semester, but I need a fresh start with new mixes of personalities and classroom dynamics. My current classes are really getting to me. I am already thinking about how I will do the “first day” activities at the beginning of the second semester and how I will set up and phrase things differently. But of course I still have plenty of instructional time left with my current classes and I am in no way giving up on them. I am just worn out, that’s all.
Thanks for reading.