Procrastination (I even procrastinated on a clever title.)

There is one 10 page paper between me and my undergraduate degree in Secondary Education.

I am procrastinating that paper by watching education videos from my Twitter feed (and now writing this blog post). Watch this video by Dr. Tae, a science educator: https://vimeo.com/5513063

The more I learn about what it means to be a good teacher, the more I feel totally and completely inadequate. There are so many things to remember about what actually helps people learn, so many concepts and ideas about sound pedagogy. And, scariest of all, so many different skills I need to learn as a teacher and a mentor: better understanding of mathematics, better leadership qualities, wisdom as an adult leading teenagers, and so many other things that I can’t think of or don’t understand yet.

I like feeling capable and competent at something I apply myself to. (Really, who doesn’t?) So its humbling, but frustrating to read, watch, listen, and whatever other action-learning verbs all this material on the internet and in the classroom about being a good teacher. So many worries plague me on all sides.

What if I’m not smart enough to teach mathematics well enough?

What if I’m not a strong enough leader to mentor kids?

How will I know the right things to say?

How do I remember all these different things about good teaching?

Am I even addressing all the correct issues? What if I am missing something?

I will press on with as much courage that I can muster. I hope that time and experience give me the capabilities to meet all these challenges and doubts. It helps just to write them out and express my doubts. And all of these things fall under my desire to become a man of God as well because I see those skills as something that flow out of my maturing as an adult who pursues God every day. I am thankful that my spiritual standing with God is not like my teaching ambitions. I know that my flesh will always fail, but thanks to Christ I am counted as righteous before the LORD.

More posts about my thoughts on education to come. I’ve been procrastinating on those as well.

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